Why modern relationships do not work? I hope most of us have been in love at some point or the other in our lives and often we might have encountered questions such as ‘Are you in true love?’ from our friends. Time and again ‘true love’ has been used as a cliché to taunt us especially when we do not comply with them. But what actually is true love and how important is it for a relationship to become sustainable? Before I dive in to give some insights about true love, let me talk about modern romantic relationships first. It is evident that the contemporary society provides a lot of distractions. Be it by means of a social function or an Instagram story people are going to cross paths with us all the time. It is beneficial in a sense you get a lot of chances to strike a conversation with somebody who you find attractive. However, there are equal possibilities of you getting allured with someone and vice versa even when you do not want to at first place. The foundation of most of t...

Rejection You might have come vis-à-vis with situations when someone does the exact opposite of what you’re expecting them to do or when you are excluded altogether from your friend’s plan. Yes, I’m talking about rejections which is almost an inevitable aspect of our lives. It’s no surprise that it hurts to be abandoned and often the pain might have made you glum for days. The reason why rejections hurt so much is connected with our evolution. According to Lori Gottlieb, a psychotherapist back when our ancestors used to live by hunting in groups, abandonment meant a certain death by separation from the herd. Our brain is wired to take rejections as something that jeopardizes our survival. Besides evolution, our brain’s response to rejection also depends upon how we are brought up as an infant and the ways by which we connect with other people. Infants who had a healthy interaction with their caregivers usually socialize in a secure fashion and regard themselves lovable and worthy. ...

  Teaching Profession in Nepal Whenever I come across the word under-rated, teaching profession in Nepal comes to my mind first. Going from one classroom to next from one period to another speaking on top of our voices, yes teachers we are the unsung heroes. Although, I have not undertaken a career in teaching yet, I have had a couple of months experience as a creative writing and an IELTS teacher which has pretty much given me an insight to the teaching industry here in Nepal. I will now briefly explain the types of teachers at different level and the problems they face. Despite the fact that no job is big or small and teachers tutoring at all levels are equal, professors and assistant professors in the University are considered to be at the top of the teacher’s hierarchy. With years of experience and expertise on a subject matter professors are geniuses, whose guidance help groom otherwise ordinary into a wise person. The primary purpose of all teacher’s job is to impart kn...

  Emotional Intimacy Do you ever feel left out among your friends with whom you have been together since childhood? While some might say that you have become a recluse who can’t even get along with your close peers, to me it is normal to feel a little lost especially if you strive for emotional intimacy but are deprived of in your friendship. Now the question may arise, what exactly is emotional intimacy and how important is it in a relationship? According to Sanam Hafeez, a neuropsychologist emotional intimacy is to allow oneself to connect more deeply with his/her partner through actions that express feelings, vulnerabilities, and trust. Much like physical intimacy, emotional intimacy is variable with time as well as from one relationship to another. It allows us to feel closeness with others thereby enabling sharing of personal feelings that go along with expectations of understanding, appreciation and demonstration of caring. Emotional intimacy can be expressed in both im...

Clutch You might have experienced how your ride in motion comes to an erratic stop when you press the brakes without using the clutch first. Often, the stoppage might not have been so pleasant at all. The smooth modern day commute would not be possible if clutch were not in existence. In mechanical engineering, clutch is a machine member used to connect the driving shaft to a driven shaft for power transmission so that the driven shaft can be started or stopped at will, without bringing the driver shaft to a halt. The use of clutch is prominent in automobiles, where it is used to change gears without killing the engine. Clutch can be an equally useful tool to synchronize variable systems in our life as well. Have you ever had a hard time shifting your focus from one thing to another? Well, I struggle a lot.   Perhaps, it is the clutch that is missing from our lives. Clutch in human life is called cognitive shifting which is the ability to adapt our behavior and thoughts accordi...

Needs and Desires I recently had a hard time deciding whether or not to buy a motorbike, something I have always wanted to own. One moment it felt like I should definitely go for it, and the very next moment, it seemed obsolete. Yes, we all have been there when it comes to choosing between our wishes and needs. Often we mistake desires for our needs and end up losing the sense/sight of our priorities. It is therefore important to understand the definition of each. Needs are the desires that stimulate immediate action from us, which is usually involuntary.  About 40 to 60 percent of our daily activities are driven by needs, making it more of a habitual action. This is why we find it somewhat difficult when it comes to explaining about them. Needs are focused on the present or the instantaneous future and thus have a greater impact towards our wellbeing. Have you ever wondered how a basic everyday chore such as wearing neat clothes influences our mood? You might have experienced ...

  Kathmandu through My Eyes As I look outside from my window seat of the Kabhre-Kathamndu Nagar Bus, I see pavements of Jadibuti crowded with people dashing each other who wouldn’t hold on for a second to reach their destinations. There are some, like me, on the flyover not too far from the office of Herb Production and Processing Company, staring downwards and wondering where these people might disappear during the festivals or in times of pandemic like Covid-19. As usual I look at the digital display of time, temperature and Air Quality Index (AQI) of the major cities of the country placed in front of the office.  The AQI today reads slightly over 300 and I try to visualize more than10,000 lives lost to the poisoned air in Kathmandu alone and wonder why so many people accumulate here leaving everything behind.  I then ask myself the same question: why was I here, living a much more compromised life than what I could back in my hometown, Ilam. I then try to relate my...