Great Expectations

Great Expectations

How much of a social butterfly are you? Or “How big is your friend circle?” I’m pretty sure it must be a big one if not so small. With communication being more affordable than ever; thanks to new network service providers and social networking sites, people are talking more than ever. But with more and more people talking, hearts are heavier than ever.  According to the data from Moment an activity-tracking app, it shows that it is possible for light social-media consumers to be happy. Nearly 63% of Instagram users and 59% of Facebook users report being miserable, and they spend an average of nearly an hour per day on the app and the ones who are happy spend on average just over half as long.

“Will you be okay, if you get bad in return for the good that you give?” I’m sure most of us, even I won’t be okay. But that’s one of the main reasons behind the remorse. Dr. Steve Maraboli once said “Expectation feeds frustration. It is an unhealthy attachment to people, things, and outcomes we wish we could control; but don’t.’ Indeed, expectation is the root of many if not all, afflictions. One way of avoiding expectations is to stop caring or being attached with someone to the extent that we trust and adore them more than ourselves. The moment we start prioritizing ourselves, expectations decrease spontaneously. People get attached easily because they lack enough self-confidence, they fear that they might end up helpless. So subconsciously, they take someone or something as their backup plan. We need to realize that we’re no longer a helpless child. We’re an adult who can make decisions for ourselves. We’ll need to assure ourselves that whatever happened in the past doesn’t mean it will happen in the future. We need to be aware that no individual we are related to shares the same set of brains to think of, and hearts to feel. So, it is quite absurd to expect the same in return from other people as if all the people are clones of oneself.  

Another way of circumventing expectations is to be unconditional on our relations be it a friendship or an affair. “Love is the absence of judgement” Undoubtedly, Dalai Lama has a crystal clear thought on love. By unconditional love I mean the love a mother has for her children, the love Agnes had for David in “David Copperfield” or the love “Hachiko” had for his master. We need to be convinced that relations are not like two loads on a beam balance, that must be balanced anyhow, it is an acceptance instead; an acceptance for one’s retreat regardless it being an aye or nay.

Likewise, being reasonable can be the savior for not expecting. We need to stop expecting people to take their decisions that makes us happy. Veritably, if it is okay for us to be selfish we need to be convinced that it is okay for the other people to be selfish too. In addition, we need to make perfectly clear that every ragtag and bobtail are responsible for taking decisions for their own happiness, not for others. So next time, don’t be wistful for if you get excluded from our friend’s plans. It’s not at all mandatory that plan they make is convenient to you. Let go of things. Learn, not to overrate yourself, be reasonable and have a clearer picture of yourself. Take a chill pill.

Finally, yet importantly, become versed to forgiving. Forgiving is setting a prisoner free and realizing that you were the prisoner.

In fact, we can have peace of mind only when we can forgive and nothing should be above our eternal peace of mind. Live, love and laugh because like Bryan H McGill said “there is no love without forgiveness and there is no forgiveness without love.”