Personal Space in Nepali Culture

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Personal Space in Nepali culture
“Hey mom! I’m going out for a friend’s birthday today would you give me some money?” This is one of my most common pickup line when it comes to persuading my mom whenever I have to go for a day out with someone special. “How many friends do you have? Do your friends have birthdays every week?” of course, I wouldn’t be attending someone’s birthdays but I’m skeptical if I’d be allowed to leave if I’ll be honest enough to say the truth. I hope you have one of yours as well. And why wouldn’t you have one if you’re a typical teenager from a Nepalese family. We aren’t to this day courageous enough to ask our parents for their permission if we are to go on a date. Perhaps, we would but will our personal space be respected then? I guess not. Being a teenager myself, I feel I lack a personal space and I’ve come to know that I’m not the only one who feels so when I’ve heard the same from my friends. The personal space can be defined as the physical as well as the psychological space immediately surrounding someone, into which encroachment can feel threatening or uncomfortable.
The early years of childhood are most crucial into shaping a person for the future, and the relationship of the child with their parents or guardians are most important. When the child transitions to adolescence the seek for personal space increases, which keeps on increasing when an adolescent transitions to teenager and a teenager transitions to adulthood. With the advent of making their own decisions, search for freedom increases amongst teenagers and so does the risk be it beneficial or not. The personal space for an individual is like a bubble, which is essential for every individual to breathe in and be their own. The bubble includes our choices and social life, our feelings, our thoughts and perceptions­ over things with their expression. Although differences in attitude may increase between teenager and parents mainly due to generation gap and lack of understanding, teenagers yet depend largely on them for emotional support. But its parents who still set the freedom limits for us.
Setting the freedom limits should be on the grounds of mutual understanding between teenagers and parents. After all, who else but our parents know us more? It is not to be misunderstood that parents need to overlook even though their children are on the wrong path in the name of providing freedom. Although we always seek for more, what teenagers feel is that they are not able to fully harness the freedom within that range of freedom set by our parents. And, the conflict arises when our parents interfere although we’re within the range they set, mainly due to misunderstanding. Perhaps, it is due to the immense love that they have towards their children our guardians tend to forget that we are growing to an adult every day. But isn’t love in letting go at times? On the other hand, it is our bubble that gets poked when we get restricted freedom despite being within the domain provided.
Quoted beautifully, “Mistakes are the best lessons, while experience is the best teacher”. Are our parents unknowingly denying this fact and restricting our grooming? If it is so, maybe it is high time that they realize that leaving the ground first is mandatory if their children are to ever take a flight. The need for personal space may vary from person to person, depending on their nature but it is something that not only parents but every individual must respect.
 “How compromising are you?”  Well I’m, I have been brought up in a way I have learnt to compromise over stuffs, and this has been a habit such that I compromise even when someone pokes my bubble of personal space. But is it really worth compromising? Maybe it is now the time that we learn to say “NO” when someone including our parents poke our bubble of personal space. I’m sure it’ll be difficult initiating but believe me, it takes 21 days to form a habit.  The habit that we form today is going to be the culture that we’ll be imparting on our children tomorrow. Wouldn’t we be happy if our children don’t have to face the issues we face today?

I used to see “Eastern hearts, western minds” at the billboard in the entrance of United School during my school days the meaning of which I’m learning to this day. The western culture is often criticized for being adopted blindly, but there are definitely some aspects of the western culture we’ve got to admire and learn from one of them being the personal Space. So, how about being the change today?  Love laugh and don’t just live life–enjoy! Spread infinite love people!  Good day J

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