Love
Love
From enjoying those late night heartwarming conversations to spending
the night staring at the ceiling reflecting about ourselves, love has all got
us there, sometime. Gaur Gopal Das, an engineer turned lifestyle coach
elucidates love as a great blend of caring and daring, daring to stand up and
accept the person completely regardless of their faults and shortcomings and
caring to strive for the physical, emotional, spiritual welfare of the person
whom we love. As a matter of fact, love is more about giving and less about
expecting in other words it is an effort to love someone unconditionally. Love
is to invest emotionally in to someone knowing that the rate of return is zero
and the biggest disappointment is that there is no emotional insurance. It
would not be an exaggeration to say that love brings with it, suffering.
The Buddhism has suggested four elements of true love as: Maitri,
Karuna, Mudita and Upekcha. As I finish explaining these elements, perhaps our perception
of true love may not remain the same. Maitri is translated as kindness and
benevolence. It is someone’s honest efforts to love by comprehending and being
on the same page with the other person. Karuna refers to compassion; to
empathize with someone and help ease their suffering. One cannot master Karuna
without developing Maitri because we cannot be compassionate without really
understanding someone. Sometimes the best way to be compassionate might be to
just listen. The third element Mudita signifies happiness. Happiness is not
merely the absence of problems but our ability to deal with it. Just being able
to cope with problems doesn’t mean you’re happy, you should really enjoy doing
so. If your love has only gloominess to offer, it isn’t true love according to
the Buddhist philosophy. The final of the four elements is Upekcha meaning freedom.
Personal space can be defined as the physical as
well as the psychological space immediately surrounding someone, into which
encroachment can feel threatening or uncomfortable. For love to bloom there
should be mutual respect for each other’s personal space and freedom. It’s
often said you do not find true love you make one, we can do that by grooming
these four elements in us and in our better half.
Now some of you might say, love regardless of being
true didn’t work out. Often, people suffer on emotional level on the label of
true love. I know it hurts straight from the heart, but maturity isn’t always
to listen your heart. Suffering isn’t love, let alone true love. It is a
byproduct of love and we should always look forward to quantifying it to a
minimum. For that a little personal reflection with reinforcement of the four
elements of love should do us all good. I remember the famous quote by William Jennings Bryan, “Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a
matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be
achieved.” After reading this, if you really think
he/she is your guy go for achieving your love even if you couldn’t you won’t
have to regret that you didn’t give it a shot. As vague as the explanation of love may
sound, we never fail to have one and every time the exposition is entirely
different because at all we are discovering something new about it. That’s why
for me love is a constant learning process throughout life.
Love comes to us in a most unexpected way when we may not be ready for
it just yet but that’s the beauty of it. Look around, you might have just met the
love of your life. If you feel you have one, embrace it and nurture it you are
getting there to the level you wanna find. Have a great day everyone. Live,
love laugh and don’t forget to enjoy! 😊
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