Rejection

Rejection

You might have come vis-à-vis with situations when someone does the exact opposite of what you’re expecting them to do or when you are excluded altogether from your friend’s plan. Yes, I’m talking about rejections which is almost an inevitable aspect of our lives. It’s no surprise that it hurts to be abandoned and often the pain might have made you glum for days.

The reason why rejections hurt so much is connected with our evolution. According to Lori Gottlieb, a psychotherapist back when our ancestors used to live by hunting in groups, abandonment meant a certain death by separation from the herd. Our brain is wired to take rejections as something that jeopardizes our survival. Besides evolution, our brain’s response to rejection also depends upon how we are brought up as an infant and the ways by which we connect with other people. Infants who had a healthy interaction with their caregivers usually socialize in a secure fashion and regard themselves lovable and worthy. On the other hand, infants who had a rough upbringing develop an insecure attachment style and take themselves to be undeserving, despicable and insufficient as an adult. That being the case, it is not so wise of us to held ourselves culpable for being unable to move on a heart break as quickly as some of our peers do.

Although life is all about swerving past denials, you might not be lucky enough to elude one every time. However, you are not really rejected unless you cannot convert failure to your advantage. Yes, I’m talking about dealing with setbacks and turn downs the right way. Since your rejection, take a step back to pamper yourself. Instead of mulling over what has occurred to you and expressing your frustration to escalate the rage even further, practice some activities like yoga, meditation, going for a walk or even taking a nap to keep yourself grounded. Maintaining calm and composure after a knock-back is important because your actions during bad temper might yield you more trouble than the rejection itself.

A cliché that most of us fail to remember is that not everything in life is within our control. People are not always going to do things that we want them to do because they are different from us. It makes us easier to embrace the differences of those who have hurt us by reminding ourselves of time when we were stubborn on our own agendas that were often in contrast with the opposing party. Likewise, looking at the broader picture of avoidance is always going to make us discern other people who are there for our emotional support like family and friends. Catching up with them is going to make us feel valued and cared for which is again going to help us get over a rebuff in no time.

People are definitely going to reject us at some point in our lives, but God is not. I have heard the wise say, ‘good days pray, bad days pray.’  The ordeal may be a perfect time to find our spiritual connection that might have been missing for long. In the aftermath of a rejection make sure that you live a healthy life. Maintaining your sleep health, exercising and simply remaining hydrated can be a game changer while tackling with rejections. But most importantly, one should always keep their heads high as Winston Churchill beautifully quoted ‘Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts’.

Thank you so much for your time to read this article. I hope you have a great day ahead : ) Much love <3